The Disciple

Aug 2 - Met Eddie | 24 | 20+10+5 (35) USED
Aug 2 - Reunite with Nemo | 27 | 20+10+5 (35) USED
Aug 3 - Met Ammond | 26 | 20+10 (30) USED
Aug 4 - Met Jay | 26 | 20+10 (30) USED
Aug 4 - Met Sasha | | 20+10+5+5 (40) USED
Aug 5 - Fish Sake & meeting Mew | 16 | 20+10 (30) USED
Aug 5 - Fish Sake with Jay | 11 | 10 (10) USED
Aug 12 - Disciple & Wishing Pond | 30 (30) USED
Aug 12 - Meeting Iron Giant | 18 | 20+10 (30)
Aug 1 - Jay at Wishing Pond | 11 | 10 (10) USED

Aug 15 - Spent 40 points on dress & 60 points on kitten

Aug 15 - Wishing pond with Nemo | 6 | 0 (0)
Aug 18 - Met Mika | 15 | 20+10 (30)
Aug 18 - Met Kreutzer | 19 | 20+10 (30)
Aug 18 - Meet human!Karkat | 11 | 20+10 (30)
Aug 21 - Meet human!Gamzee | 23 | 20+10+5 (35)
Aug 31 - Meeting the other Bertie | 16 | 20+10 (30)
Sept 17 - Kitten post | N/A | 30 (30)
Sept 23 - Meeting Nyanpire | 3 | 20 (20)

Oct 1 - ACTIVITY CHECK Used 50 points
Oct 12 - Body regain Used 100 points
Oct 15 - New Body bb | N/A | 30 (30)
Oct 15 - Innuendo thread with Nemo | 11 | 10 (10)

TOTAL: 275

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Date - <a href="link">Description</a> | Comment total | 0 <b>(0)</b>

Player Name: Terra
Player Contact: terraminuit

Character Name: The Disciple
Canon: Homestuck
Game Transplant: My Little Jamjar which was a transplant from Mayfield
Original App: My Little Jamjar & Mayfield
Game Summary: The two games could not really be more different. Mayfield was a horror game set in a small 50s style American town with a forced humanization element. When a person arrived, they were placed in a household as part of a family unit and forced to routinely attend a job or school as part of the setting. The townheads routinely mentally tormented the characters or caused temporary changes to personality in a hope to get them to acclimate to the town and 'be happy'. Often their memories were changed or eliminated entirely in the case of drones (people without freewill running on a predermined autopilot.) It later came out that those in this town are not real, but merely programs in a computer.

On the other hand, My Little Jamjar is a game based on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It's a basic jamjar with a forced pony-shape change element that is fairly mild in content. The worst here seems to be silly villians though obviously putting characters from various games in this setting can lead to some conflict. There was a mysterious vandalism and a rpg-esque dungeoun but these occurences are far and few between and most of the setting is a cheery slice of life.

How long was your character in Game: The Disciple was in Mayfield for ~7 months and My Little Jamjar for ~3 months.

History of Character in their Game:
Let's start from the beginning, which would be Mayfield. The Disciple arrived at the beginning of December that year to find herself a human and placed in a house of people. Soon after her arrival she reunited with the Dolorosa and met many of the younger generations of trolls. The most important of these first wave of small ones was Karkat Vantas, Sollux Captor, Kanaya Maryam and Feferi Piexes. It was through the first three children that the idea of ancestors and descendants became more than a vague highblood idea and an undeniable reality.

Karkat was obviously the much talked about second coming of the Signless, but the Disciple saw how much Dolorosa telling him that had just placed a burden on him. His obvious leadership of the group of young trolls--and their camaraderie despite blood color or caste-- moved her. It gave her hope that though Signless had died the future had become a brighter place and their efforts weren't entirely in vain. She tried her best not to let her expectations bleed into their interactions but he always seemed to be a little wary of her and the older generation.

Kanaya Maryam was really the one who cemented the ancestor descendant relationship, perhaps because the Dolorosa was already there. Though Sollux was obviously much like the Psiionic, Kanaya was a spitting image of her ancestor.

Feferi, the tiny heiress, was her own disciple. And that really made everything okay--to Disciple at least. The words of Signless--and therefore the Disciple who had written them down--had reached the highest of the castes. Disciple was exceedingly fond of Feferi the entire time she was in Mayfield, even to their last days together. Their blind optimism and belief that the world could change brought them together and even had a small chance of changing Disciple's exasperated idea that seadweller simply didn't listen.

Also among note is the human Klaus Wulfenbach who she met on her arrival and spoke with about blood colors and troll society. Though they weren't particularly close for some of her time, he later became one of her changeless 'rocks' so to speak. He was always there. Though there'll be more on him later.

But the arrival of her lover the Signless overshadowed the rest of her first few weeks in town. And for those first few weeks, she could believe that this place might not be as dangerous as said. After all, her lover was back from the dead and nothing bad had happened.

Of course, the town changed. The town went dark and cold and the Disciples first 'event' was one that shook her trust of her own memories. The event involved people wishing themselves from existence for the better of those they love. They believed that their friends and family would be better off without them. And the Signless fell for it hook line and sinker. The Disciple was heartbroken to find that he had sacrificed himself all over again, even if he was still very much in the town, but the town slowly altered her memories so that he hadn't existed at all. Her life without him was more empty--the Disciple without a purpose or a cause is hardly herself. Even when he spoke to her, she didn't know him.

And then the town messed with them all again. He wasn't the Signless at all--now that she suddenly remembered who the Signless was--and she could only get her Signless back by killing him. This was probably the moment that it really sunk in how cruel this place was--to the both of them. She tried to kill him but couldn't manage it. He was telling her things only her Signless would know and in the end she never managed it. It was in all, a terrible Twelfth Perigree's Eve. And though the town went back to normal soon after, she was always on guard for something that didn't feel right.

Never let it be said that she doesn't make every effort to bounce back though. She met new people and her own dear friend the Psiionic arrived a few weeks into the new year. All in all, she recovered from the trauma thanks to the sheer exhilaration and gratitude of being around those she had thought dead or lost. Even the arrival of the Condesce herself didn't ruin things.

And of course, being a town that never quite lets up, Mayfield then took the Signless and experimented on him along with dozens of other town citizens. It left him with tyrian purple blood and the ability to kill anyone near him if he spoke at all, much like the lusus of tyrian purple trolls. This terrible experiment did end and he did end up fine, but not after killing more than a few trolls and humans. It did not happen to the Disciple herself but knowing the pain Signless would feel after killing even one, she hateed Mayfield for it. It was sick and twisted and his time away from her during all this started her down the path of being afraid someone might be taken from her.

The next few months were less traumatic and more relaxing. A few encounters with the other ancestors that lived in the town that left her with a bad taste in her mouth in one case and amusement on the other. Mindfang was strange, Dualscar a horrible person in every way and the Summoner was another sort of disciple of Signless. Though his views of Signless were incorrect at best and twisted at worst, he was another sign that their quest had continued.

The next real thing of note was the twisting of her mind to be more rebellious and young. Though not a real problem in any measure, it did give her a chance to become closer to Klaus, literally and figuratively. She climbed on his head while drunk and talked of his quadrants with him, romanticizing what she deemed his 'purrfect kismesis'. Perhaps it was her similarity to his wife or just his own drunkeness, but he put up with her silliness and she began to see him as another fixture in their group. Occasional silly antics happened in the town after all this, including the building of a purrbeast clank and various poison joke induced transformations, which further cemented her friendship with him.

And then everyone left the Disciple. The Signless and the Psiionic simply disappeared as if they had never been there and Disciple had a hard time coping with their sudden absence. Perhaps it was an overreaction on her part but she was furious and a little broken. After having those she loved brought back to her--some from the dead--it seemed a cruel joke to take them from her. Those she knew started leaving one by one and the Disciple stopped venturing out of her house more often than not. It didn't seem worth seeing those drones of her friends that were gone. The only one left was Klaus and even then she was less kind to him than she should have been. For two months she stayed in her house with drones and tried to keep herself sane.

It was to Klaus that she was sent just before she left Mayfield. She spent the next few weeks acclimating to being around people who spoke real thoughts and cared about her.

And then she was swept from that small home in Mayfield to another small town, Ponyville. It was culture shock in the best way.

Ponyville was bright and disconcerting. Four legs on herself and her blood color was her skin, only made bright and cheerful. Ponies of every shade of the rainbow walked around her and while it seemed a trick at first by Mayfield, it became blatantly obvious that it was not. The immediate lack of horrible things happening to them was her first clue and the fact that almost all the other new ponies had not even heard of Mayfield was her second. Klaus was there, a towering pony himself, but he was one of the very few who knew of Mayfield's tricks and they soon decided that this must be a new place altogether.

And it was on her very first day that the Disciple met Nemo. Nemo Kankri Vantas, a pony who recognized her as someone completely different yet nearly the same. A human. And as they talked, it became clear that this was her Signless, only one who had been human instead of troll. Who had been the father of Karkat instead of his ancestor. Who had been the sister of Mags, a woman who resembled the Disciple in most ways, even down to her hatchname.

And between him and the calming atmosphere of Ponyville, she could push Mayfield behind and start coming back to herself properly. He was like the Signless and not like him and she began to appreciate the differences between them and it was not long afterwards that she fell for him in her non-quadrant-specific way. The return of Signless, her grey little pony, was a treat beyond measure and she started to feel, once again, that she could settle here and be happy. At least this place didn't seem to take from her or hurt her. Living at the pony commune Nemo founded, starting a shipping wall on the shack they built together--it was like a new life. A new beginning after all that horror.

And then Klaus left. And the Signless. Both of those crushed her, even if she had half expected them to leave, but the Twilight from Mayfield told her something that sent her reeling. That she was not actually herself, just a copy. In fact, all those she had known in Mayfield were just copies. Everyone from Mayfield was just a digital copy of themselves.

The combination of that information bomb and the disappearance of her friends stalled her progress. What was she if she wasn't the real Disciple? Nemo reassured her that she was real, just as real as anyone, but help and acceptance also came from Gil, another refugee of Mayfield. Talking about the experiences there helped settle them a little, though not heal them.

This subdued her for some time. Her self-identity as the huntress was already a bit shattered from the lack of weapons and non-sapient wildlife and now her role as the Disciple of Signless had come under internal scrutiny. Now more than ever, she clung to those at the pony commune and tried to work these things out in private. Outwardly, she started trying to be more upbeat. She teased Bertie over misinformation, explained quadrants, shook her head at wannabe villains.

Of course, this wasn't easy. Picking herself back up. Brushing off. And it got worse. The person she had come to rely on most over her stay in Ponyville was killed. Nemo took a horn to the chest from Donatello who beleived he was still in the Games and died in a splash of rainbows. The Disciple could do nothing about him, too little too late, and tried to stop Donatello from hurting anyone else. In the end, she did suceed on that point, not counting the slash she got herself. He was gone and the commune in a panic around her and there was nothing she could do.

How did they change from their canon personality wise (Please explain what caused it to happen?)

The Disciple is like a rubber ball. All energy, bouncing back, getting into places she shouldn't--but her times in Mayfield and My Little Jamjar have left her without her usual bounce. One too many cracks in her optimistic armor. Which is to say, without the silly metaphors, that she has been through a lot that has left her harder to trust and more likely to cling.

Coming to Mayfield so soon after Signless's death helped it heal. He was there like he had never died and she could bounce right back to herself. It could be just a nightmare. But the horrible choices she was forced to make and the terrible things Mayfield did to him left her scarred all over again. He could easily be pulled from her reach by things she couldn't find with tooth and claw. Memories were altered and she could not even trust what she remembered to be true.

For much of her times in Mayfield and MLJ, she could push the uncertainty and wariness down. She trusted in her friends as much as her old and part of her life was being the one who could see past the next trial to a better place. And truly, she thought she could just grieve her losses in private and keep the pain from those she came to care for. There wasn't a need to bring others into her grief and her pain.

But these moments when the Disciple's need to be bright and hopeful broke down into tears or screams are really the most telling of how she has changed. Disciple would grieve silently for her whole life the loss of her Signless and her group. Those were things she had known might happen the entirety of her time with the group. But unexpected--nay, unfair losses and pains were what made the differences between her old self and her new so different. The change between the silently angry woman who fled to let her lovers words live on and the woman who wept and screamed at being left alone all over again just show how much she had come to rely on having her life back. Disciple was always independent, if social, but having her family back was like having the world in color again after a sweep of black and white. Left to grieve, she might have found she would be able to pick up her pieces again, but Mayfield was not known for its kindness and she was never really given the time or place to heal from the loss all over again. MLJ simply slapped a band-aid over that wound.

So it's natural that she's gained a few abandonment issues. There's constantly a nagging worry in her brain that those she likes will leave her. After the myriad trolls left her in Mayfield and Klaus--and Signless--left her all over again in MLJ, she's been afraid to get close to anyone new. Nemo had been the exception to her fears. He was new, bright and just like--but not just like Signless and she fell for him hard. It did not prove to be a wise choice in the end for her mental state.

Which really brings us to her next problem. A fear of helplessness. That she won't be able to save those she loves because the worlds she lived in were inherently unfair or the abilities she had were useless. She needs the security of knowing that her ability to write, fight, hunt and save those she loves--will be useful. And thus far, it has not. Mayfield gave her back all the weapons she needed and then made them useless by messing with her mind. My Little Jamjar has taken her body and weapons from her and then made those abilities the most useful and important that she could have possibly had.

The death of Nemo in MLJ is the straw that broke the humpbeasts back. She does not feel safe. Even if her life was spent running from Subjuggulators, she had people to be with that she trusted with her life. She craves security in her weapons and her body, needs those she's close to to be there and stay and as of the moment, she has neither in MLJ.

And it goes without saying that the Disciple is still having a bit of an identity crisis. Since she's learned she was just a copy of herself, she's been quiet--more so than usual. It's a struggle to reconcile her own memories of events and the realization that it wasn't actually her who experienced them. After all the memories that Mayfield messed with, what if she wasn't even who she thought she was? Couldn't it be just another trick, giving her false memories of a life she never lived. Even if she can quantify that she's real and here right then and now, she'll still feel like a replacement for proper versions of her friends and loved ones. After all, who can say that she remembers everything properly and not just as a messed up version of life Mayfield gave her.

She's young. She's not hardened by time or loss--merely broken by its repetition. In her eyes, she's lost Signless twice and his reincarnation once and she can't bear the loss of her loved ones yet again. Even her rocks, those she believed would never leave, left her, and she craves a place that will not test her or leave another mark on her.

How did they change from their canon physically (Please explain what caused it to happen?): In Mayfield, The Disciple was turned into a human and later regained her troll form. In My Little Jamjar she was turned from a troll into a pony. Her troll form was not regained.

Powers: No supernatural powers, simply above average reflexes and hunting skills.

Possessions:
A weeks worth of troll-sized clothing
Her signature outfit
Signless's legging
A pair of gloves and scarf courtesy of Signless
A set of clawed gloves
A small clockwork cat
A dozen journals
Several pots of 'paint', ie blood
A small pile of artichokes

Please provide three samples from your previous game, at least one will have to be third person with context:
Sample One: Disciple's reaction to the disappearance of Signless and the Psiionic @ Mayfield
Sample Two: Disciple found out that she was a computer copy in Mayfield @ My Little JamJar
Sample Three: Nemo's Death @ My Little Jamjar

Notes: None I can think of. I'm assuming it's alright to give her things appropriate to her troll body, perhaps as a hint to herself that she can get it back! If not, let me know.